In this post, I’m talking about how to change your story, and change your life in the process.
It’s very possible you have heard the statement, “change your story, change your life,” at least once. But is it true? Well, yes, because all thinking precedes action and action is what creates; it just depends on the subject we’re talking about, but first a little about the concept of “story.”
“Life stories do not simply reflect personality. They are personality, or more accurately, they are important parts of the personality, along with other parts, like dispositional traits, goals, and values,” writes Dan McAdams, a professor of psychology at Northwestern University, along with Erika Manczak, in a chapter for the APA Handbook of Personality and Social Psychology.
Your “story,” as it’s mostly referred to when we talk about changing it to change your life, is not as broad as a life story, but they all role up to what becomes your life. Typically, the stories we change, are the narratives you have about yourself, your work, a relationship, food you eat or don’t, etc; stories you tell about the elements of your life– experiences, interpretations of feelings and emotions, and so forth. Basically, your interpretation of anything could be called your story about that thing. It all rolls up into your thinking, and few would disagree that changing your thinking will change your life.
But what is so unique about changing your story is that most of us can relate to changing a story, a narrative. When talking with others we might say, “let me say that differently” if something doesn’t come out, right. Right there, we acknowledge that stories create effects.
Change Your Story? We All Have Stories.
We all have stories, and most of us experience our lives through our stories. We are part of the great story of us, the evolution of who we are as human beings. We start our personal story upon birth, and look back on the “story of our lives.” There is a whole approach to psychology, called narrative psychology, and we live according to the stories we tell ourselves, about just about anything. Everyone from one of my early mentors Tony Robbins to the Landmark Forum to me “JAM” talk and work with clients on the art and science of changing their stories to change their lives.
This blog post is a story, it’s essentially our primary form of communication. Take any piece of information out of it’s the broader context, anchored by a story, and most often it’s meaningless. Even if you think that’s not true, it’s true. “Tie your shoes” makes sense to an older toddler because they’ve probably tripped and heard it from Mom or Dad, who’ve said, “Honey, you need to keep your shoes tied or you will fall.” Do you see it?
Here’s the main thing to keep in mind; thoughts, which make up the fabric of our stories about our selves, and any aspect of our life experience, create feelings, and feelings create deeper emotions. Its why we can relive the past, just by thinking the same thought whose meaning is experienced by how we describe it. If your thinking is not supportive, of what you want to see happen, including how you want to feel, you must change your story to change your life, and act on the new narrative.
The Most Challenging Aspect of How to Change Your Story.
The most challenging aspect of changing a story is when it’s tied to difficult situations or circumstances, that we have deemed permanent, pervasive, and personal. In such a case, we become the story and you are not. There is one thing we know about a story, none are permanent, rarely pervasive and though you feel it personally, it’s only personal if you are identified with your thoughts. And that’s a bigger story.
So how do you change your story? There are many ways to do this from changing your state to strategy but at some point, you need to simply and actually change how we narrate our lives, our beliefs, values, and more. If not you will suffer from the curse of the capable person, distracted and held back by stories that cause learned helplessness.
FREE CONFIDENTIAL CALL with JAM– Let’s set a time and talk to each other about where you are and how I can help. It’s completely confidential. This call is the best way to get started, so your willingness to change meets expert support and guidance. You can call me right now at 862-216-7959 or choose a time for our call here using my online calendar>>>
John Allen Mollenhauer “JAM” is an expert at helping people achieve more through a healthy-driven lifestyle. JAM works with a range of clients who all share a strong desire to make healthy changes while knowing they need real support with an eye on success. He is the founder of Performance Lifestyle® Inc—a leading-edge training and coaching practice that motivates people to optimize their health and resilience. Thousands of people have been inspired by JAM to redefine their lifestyle with a particular emphasis on sourcing natural energy and managing it, to increase performance.